Author: praywar

Why do you write? I’m often asked this question. Why is this called Diary of a Prayer Warrior? The emphasis on the word “diary?”

A diary is a journal, record or letter. This one is a love letter to my God, King, Savior and Master. It’s a place where I reflect and pour out my heart to the Lord without reservation and hear His voice clearly.

Writing out what’s on my mind keeps me so connected to God. We all need a place where we come to God as we are—fully transparent, raw, unhindered and unashamed. A place where the more time we spend there, the closer we feel to Him. Where we feel His eternal presence washing over us. Where we feel better just from being there.

This is my place—Diary of a Prayer Warrior. When I’m writing I’m present with God. He’s always present with me but I’m not always present with Him. Writing changes that. It is a full conversation with my Lord. I’m pouring out and He’s pouring in, filling those empty spaces with His love.

So now you know the why. Writing is part of me. It is crucial to my relationship with the Lord and I just don’t know how not to write.

What are you not praying and what are you not saying because of fear? Fear is a tactic of the enemy to keep you small-minded and limited in prayer. What would happen if you truly died to self? What would happen if when you opened your mouth unto the Lord and said “Not my will, but thy will be done,” without any “only ifs?” Only-ifs are conditions and stipulations, things that we don’t want to happen. I can admit, when I have prayed this prayer my mouth said “Thy will be done,” but my heart said, only if….

• I can stay in my comfort zone
• I don’t have to be in weird situations
• I don’t have to make any changes in me…if only I don’t have to change…

Wow, then that is not really wanting His will done. That is still me wanting my will done. That is me wanting God and the blessings of God the way I think is should occur or happen–ON MY TERMS. It is putting God in a box and handcuffing Him.

When I realized what I was saying, I was humbled and ashamed. The God who has kept me from danger seen and unseen more times than I can imagine–I didn’t trust Him. The God who has kept my children–I didn’t trust Him. No matter how much you want to pretty it up and make it sound “not too bad,” there it was–the ugly truth. I did not trust the Lord completely.  So I had to make a stand and a decision–do I trust Him even when I am afraid? The answer was and still is emphatically yes!! Faith is moving toward the Lord in spite of, not in the absence of, your fear. Saying “Thy will be done” and truly meaning it with everything in me no matter how it looks gave me freedom, true freedom.

Don’t you want to be free? It’s ok to be scared and a little shaky AND don’t let fear keep you from having a closer walk with your king–the King.

The stage is set–

Our Savior was wounded for our transgressions and bruised for our iniquities. He was pierced in the side, beaten until bloody, and had a crown of thorns pushed on his head. He was lied on and placed between 2 thieves. The veil was torn and IT was finished.

The IT? What is that? You know what IT is. Our Savior took on the sins of the world so we could live. But not just live, live abundantly!

Fast forward to the next scene–the tomb was empty, no trace of our Savior’s body. He rose! He got up with all power in His hands. Jesus took the keys to hell, death, and the grave so we could live abundantly. Remember who you belong to! The same power that raised our Savior from the grave lives in you. You have His power flowing in your veins, moving in your life, and making you whole.

As you remember the cross and the crown of glory on Easter also remember who you are in Christ. He died so you could live and be everything He destined you to be.

Just because hard times or attacks come, doesn’t mean the blood of Jesus has lost power. It is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God’s power never decreases–it does not become less than or less powerful.

As a friend of mine says when she refers to the blood of Jesus, it is the efficacious blood! According to dictionary.com, efficacious means “capable of having the desired result, effective as a means, measure, or remedy.” The definition alone makes me excited to think about the EFFICACIOUS blood of Christ! The blood of Jesus does what it is supposed to do–it heals, provides power, protects, and resurrects! It is peace in the middle of chaos and love in the midst of fear. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead has not changed!

During these ever-changing times, remember that the blood of Jesus still has power. Rest in the knowledge that He is an ever-present help in a time of trouble and His power is complete and sovereign.

Watching, waiting, anticipating, nervous–the road less traveled can be daunting and a little terrifying at times.  There is a reason why “small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:14). I feel like I am in this repeated cycle.  I KNOW I am not in a wilderness, I don’t doubt God’s power and presence in my life.  I know the end of a thing will truly be better than the beginning of a thing, but I admit, I am tired, weary even.

I feel like I am not learning my lesson fast enough or that I keep making the same mistakes over again.  Confession–I struggle with consistency and follow-through in some areas of my life. I start off hard and strong, going all in, having great ideas, executing tasks judiciously….then, I fall off.  Dragging my feet a bit more, missing self-imposed deadlines, losing passion.  That is the purpose of the narrow path I am on–honing and focusing my energy. Removing distractions, things I don’t need to work on or be involved in.  Helping me to focus on what I love to do–write, read, study, pray. Making sure all things align with what brings me joy and furthers His Kingdom.

This has been and is a hard season.  The path IS narrow and thankfully, I am not walking this path alone.

I cannot let fear rule me!  It seems to be everywhere around me–afraid for my kids, afraid of the violence in our city, afraid I am not praying enough and if I am not, bad things are going to happen (which is totally irrational). Fear whispering in my ear, “What makes your kids any different than other children touched by violence? Do you think bad things can’t happen to your kids? Do you believe you are better or holier than other parents, so this can’t possibly happen to your kids?”  On and on and on….

No!  You are a liar, devil!  God had not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind!  I will not allow fear to rule me!  I know who my God is.  He is the Author and Finisher of all things.

Fear has been (past tense) crippling me.  Afraid to move forward, afraid I will make a mistake.  Just staying still hoping situations will pass.  They will not pass!  They are not going to pass until I do what I am called to do.  This is a season of revival and I remember that greater is He that is in me, than he that’s in the world. God is everything and all things and I will not fear!

So much going on, so much violence and fear and calamity.  We live in fear waiting for the next “thing” to occur feeling helpless and defeated.  We feel as if there is nothing we can do and we want action!  We want the violence to stop.  We want systemic racism to stop. We want our children safe.  We want the spout that has been opened up pouring out hatred to dry up and revival to rain down.

I asked myself the question, “What can I do? ”  Instead of waiting for someone else or some organization to make a move, what can I do to help?  What can I do to make a difference?  How can one person make a difference?  Then I was reminded of when one person made a HUGE difference, died on the cross and was resurrected again 3 days later to save all of us.  I am by no means equating myself to Jesus Christ, but one person joined with other “one persons” can make a difference. I am going to find the one thing that I can do.

So my question is to you #whatareyougoingtodo?

 

I have a bad habit of taking a pen, starting to write, realize the pen either kind of doesn’t write well or doesn’t write at all, then putting it back into the drawer.  What kind of insanity is that?!?  It doesn’t make sense at all, yet I have done it countless times.  This morning I broke that pattern–yay, small victory!  Then I started to think, how many times have I done that with other situations or things in my life? How many times have I held onto something past the point of making sense?

I have held onto past hurts, past relationships and old ways of thinking until it became unhealthy.  I have wanted to keep my kids babies forever in my mind and not changed my way of parenting to adapt to their changes.  It is time to let go!  If it doesn’t work, is not productive, does not produce fruit–let–it–go!  Stop holding onto what can’t be fixed and shouldn’t be.

Instead, seek the eternal, everlasting, unbreakable and unshakable God.  Let go of the past and move into your present and future.  If you are having trouble letting go, ask for help. What do you think God is here for?  He has come that you might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10b)! Let Him help you let go.

In the silence, hear My voice–“be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

Too many distractions, too much noise, too many things to do, silences the voice of the Creator.  He has not stopped talking, we are just unable to hear–unable to make out the still, small voice of our Master.  Our King. Our God.  It is like a cacophony around us, too much of everything, but God.

No wonder we are anxious, afraid, stressed, and unfulfilled.  No wonder we feel like rudderless boats being tossed to and fro, not quite sure if we will make it to shore. We were created to yearn for God, to be in His presence.  When we can’t hear Him or feel Him, we feel lost.  The awesome news is, God has not left us! Ask God to reveal the things in your life that must be done, the things (and people) you should let go of, and how you should order your steps.  He will give you direction because He longs to spend time with you. He longs to be in relationship with you.

Quiet your spirit and let the Master speak…

I trust you, Lord and trust what you say to be true. You are all things and everything You say comes to pass. The devil is a liar and I do not have to feel powerful to know I have power! I have power because of Who resides in me, Who calls me His own. Because of who YOU say I am and I have what You say I have.

“Behold, I give unto you POWER to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall in any ways harm you.”

That is what the Word says. Period. End of story.